A bridge between satisfaction and regret

“Is it better to speak or die?”

That has been the question that’s been lingering on my mind till this very day…This particular significant of an event (or in retrospect, a whole new learning experience) taught me you should tell the person to whom you feel any sort of romantic feelings for, that you love them. Now, you’re probably wondering why I am even talking about this in the first place. Well, do I have a story to tell for you. So sit back, relax, and maybe get those boxes of tissues ready because this is going to be quite an emotional rollercoaster.

It all happened during grade six, at the peak of COVID19— where everyone was staying at the comfort of their homes, on screens almost every single day, playing online games to still feel that sense of connection digitally. While everyone was doing their own thing, I was talking to the girl I had a crush on since grade four. Let’s call her “Julie” for now. Me and Julie had been classmates since grade four up until grade six. We only started actually talking to each other during the pandemic. We were talking to each other almost every single day. We were talking about our day, our interests, the anime that we were currently watching, and many more. We were ironically learning more about each other compared to the past two years of being classmates together. We were just closer than we ever were. Unfortunately, we stopped talking during the summer. There was no bad blood between us, We just stopped talking to each other naturally… The one thing I regret the most not doing was telling her about my feelings. I was actually supposed to confess my feelings to her during Valentine’s Day of that year, but there was just that one thought that was holding me back in doing so. I was scared that if I confessed my feelings to her— It would ruin the friendship we had. So I chose not to confess my feelings, and listened to my freedom of choice. Little did I know that it became one of the biggest regrets of my life later on,even looking back at it now. This whole situation made me realize that love should be unapologetic, not logical. That if you really love this person, then you should tell them how you feel before it’s too late.. Even if the outcome you get was the one you did not wish for. I can understand how some people may disagree with this because they fear rejection, or detachment from the person they love, and that is totally valid. That was actually how I felt when I was in my train of thoughts whether to confess to her or not, I only realized too soon that it was better to open that jar of feelings, rather than leaving it unopened in a shelf filled with second thoughts.